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Thursday, July 29, 2010

In Memory of Barry

DSC09055 Blogger
 Barry said... “That was a surprisingly different powerful post, GingerV.  Sometimes a few carefully crafted words are better than a thousand pictures.”
What a complement.  Barry made this comment on my FSO post ‘Incongruous’ and I can remember the pride I felt that he would like how I wrote.  I like hearing from all of the FSO gang but to receive a comment from Barry was special, made my day.  I think of him as the master
  He used metaphor as a way of expressing his feelings, his fears, his joys as he made his way through life’s adventures. 
On July 29, 2009 soon after the cancer diagnosis, in his post ‘dreams of Lindsay’ , using metaphor, he talked of his fear of the future, fear of the pain and sickness he might have in his future, of the comfort he felt at home in front of the fire with Linda and his memories.  If we took the time to read carefully we knew exactly what he felt.  Barry wrote,
Lightning flashes and rain begins to thunder against the roof. Lindsay comes scampering out of the dark of the back office, slows to a halt at the reassuring sight of Barry and Linda in the living room, and then walks at a more dignified pace over to the fireplace.
What, me scared by a little lightning, she seems to say.
At the fireplace she begins to walk in circles, scratching periodically at the carpet. Round and round she goes scratching the carpet into a more comfortable nest, before she flops to the floor with a window rattling thump.
….A distant thunder roars and rumbles across the sky and the beat of the rain increases.
Lindsay closes her eyes and is asleep within seconds.
Barry watches her with amazement. She looks so comfortable. By now she has recognized an unfortunate change in her daily routine. No longer does Barry take her for runs, or even walks around the block. He is wrestling with a nauseating dizziness that has confined him to his chair and bed. A world swirling vertigo that shows no sign of let up or improvement.
So Lindsay has stopped reminding him that the time for her walk is overdue. She isn't happy about it, but she has come to accept it.
In her sleep, Lindsay has rolled over on her side and her legs and nose have begun to twitch. Barry notices her eyes moving rapidly back and forth. Lindsay is deep in a dream.
No longer before the fireplace, Lindsay runs the pathways of the meadow at the top of the Scarborough Bluffs. Everywhere she is enticed by fragrant scents that lead her off the path, deep into the bushes and tall grasses. Here the sun is always shining and a gentle winds ruffles the hair on her head and long floppy ears. She recalls her encounter with the coyote and the naked man, the grieving Hindi family and the fashion models. Her heart beats faster at the memories of running the beach at the bottom of the bluffs and watching a huge flock of seagulls take to the sky as she runs into the midst.
And then the telephone rings and Linda answers it. Lindsay reawakens to her place before the fire and the sound of the storm outside. She yawns and sighs and looks over at Barry, reading quietly in his chair.
Then closes her eyes once again and returns to sleep…..
Posted by Barry at 10:07 AM                   
 Managing to hold onto his humor, not giving in to whining about his losses, being strong in the face of great adversity, being strong for us his blog pals even as his body weakened, this is how I will remember Barry and will continue to feel honored that I was allowed to know him these last two, too brief years. 


  1. GingerV that was beautiful. I have changed Queenmothermamaw to daylily. Just wanted you to know who I am.

  2. I have seen his comments here, have read his blog a time or two - I remember the bell ringing - and just from those tiny encounters, looking in but not making myself known to him, I can tell he will be missed.

    Thanks for posting the tribute. I am sorry for the loss of your friend.

  3. A very beautiful post in memory of Barry, he will be greatly missed!

  4. That's lovely, Ginger. My heart aches every time I think of Lindsay. I like that you thought of him as the master. My name for him was "The King of Bloggers", I've never known his equal as a story teller.
    The storm has now passed.

  5. Ginger, Thank-you for posting this. His writing and the many layers of meaning were what drew me in.

  6. Very beautiful Ginger, and thanks for sharing!


  7. I've had that very same reaction - Barry's comment would be the one that really meant something special. He was the master, and I was amazed that such a fine writer, a writer I could only aspire to be, would take an interest in my little blog. and actually like it. Made my day every time.
    Barry was a special person, and it was an honor to know him. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

  8. Barry's gift for writing was so special, and I plan to return to it as I would a well-loved book.

  9. Ginger that was so beautiful..that you offered up the things that touched you about this wonderful man! I loved not only revisiting his words..but your words as well!
    Beautiful tribute hon, Sarah

  10. Barry touched many lives and my life for one is much better for having him been in mine x

  11. Ginger, it is good to visit, again. In some ways, I feel like a person who has been gone from home for an extended time. Thank you, for your tribute to Barry. I'm sorry it took his passing to bring me back. I would have felt ungrateful to have not been here, today.

  12. The more tributes I read, the more I feel how special Barry was. Had it been another person, would he have so many friends who love him, and been impacted by him.

    He took time to comment on my post, and share intimate details like he was a bereaved parent too. that wowed over.

  13. Your post is so true--his positivity was part of what made Barry so great. And I know what you mean about the honor of having him comment on a post! Thank you for this remembrance.

  14. I remember reading this post of his as well. very powerful words. so eloquent in his writing. nice tribute to Barry GingerV!!

  15. I didn't know Barry as well but can even so can see his loss here in blogland. Very sad. He was very very corageous and I will miss him as a fellow blogger. We now need to think of Linds too.