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Sunday, December 16, 2012

Transitions

I am now, really and truly, looking at my final days in Brasil.  I started ‘Flowers’ as an experiment, just to learn something new, pass the time, and it evolved into a means of talking about, of showing you my world.  It is full of the inevitable comparisons between the USA that I knew so well and Brasil, a country that I was learning to understand and to, at times, DSC_1934love.  It also, from time to time, became a voice to my efforts to know and understand myself as I have changed through aging and experiences, and now may become a place for me to express all the changes I will have to make as I return to the place where I started.  

I find that this idea of changing back has occupied my thoughts at the oddest moments; while visiting my sister a month or so ago, or when in a hot shower, just walking mindlessly through the grocery store, or while standing in long lines, waiting.  The idea of what defines us now and of how we make our way back to a place where we are comfortable with ourselves, and our expectations is a question that needs answering.  Are we the sum of all our titles held: daughter, sister, wife, mother, grandmother, divorcee, wife, widow or of the things we enjoy doing: reader, talker, walker, dancer, cook or what others see from the outside looking in, student, bookkeeper, manager and back to student once more.  How will those secret character traits we keep so well hidden: shy, unsure, child, needy, affect us while we wait for the transition back to be complete. 

I suspect we are all ever evolving.  Sometimes being influenced by our hidden traits and at others, being pushed forward by who we have become to be that person we have yet to meet.  I suspect that the transition takes time and patience.  That in the end all those titles we have been, become a part of our new self.  Like a well cooked stew, in the end all the components add taste and character; widening, shaping, determining who we will be next. 

9 comments:

  1. You are in my thoughts daily, Ginger. (((abracos))) as you make this next transition....

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  2. Thank you for sharing your process here. 'Like a well-cooked stew" I love this. God bless, and I hope you keep this blog going or make me aware of your new blog!

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  3. Very well said, Ginger. And while you think about transitioning back, it will never be back to how you remember your life before moving to Brasil, before Camillo, but like you said, all the components will come together to make you who you are next. I'm sure there will be some growing pains along the way, but your new self, your new life will be the next level of growth, a heirarchy of self.

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  4. Thanks for sharing your continuing journey Ginger. I, too, think of you often. My husband of nearly 53 years has never been sick. He passed out x2 on Christmas eve scaring the daylights out of our entire family. He is anemic and on a journey to find out the cause. I too will enter a new role that I have never had before. Caregiver to a possibly ill man. As a nurse I am used to caregiving. However as a wife I am not. As a mother yes. But I love my patient dearly and may even end up not having to do anything for him. The tests begin and we will be a team. Blessings to you as you move along.
    Peggy

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  5. Ginger, sent you an e-mail but it was returned by "Gigalink." Do you have another e-mail address? rayfloridausa@aol.com
    Ray

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  6. As I sit here as if it was four or five years ago, I often think of change and how we have to adjust and move on...the journey never ends does it.

    I also tried to email you Ginger. If you can contact me please. I came over to see what was up with my favorite Flower and found a bit of sadness. My heart is with you, and wondering if your ears were burning a few days ago when my son who is living back with us to return to school after Korea were talking about you and lovely Brazil.

    I am here...

    Elizabeth

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  7. Ginger, your post is the outline for a book, I swear. And what a story it would be!
    Sending you big wishes for finding your newest life.
    Lisa

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  8. very cool blog Gingeer, i am so glad to have stumbled upon it, good luck!!
    driveway paving brentwood

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  9. :) I still remember the pecan pie recipe I gave you and it did not work for you...son still loves that LOL

    Think of you almost twice a day Ginger. This is a hard month for me because my clients daughter passed five years ago and I grew so close, we meet for lunch every Feb in our daughters honor. March 1st is Ane's birthday, her 27th. Do they still age, when we remember them as they were...okay I just got an idea for a poem. See you still inspire me girl!

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