I feel I have to apologize for not writing something, anything this past week. I have eaten a ton of chocolates, played solitaire by the hour and written nothing for a week. It is not just this blog, but the paper that is due tomorrow for my class at PUC that is causing my distress.
The paper due is for the section on literary discourse. It is not that I haven't read all the material, done Internet research to clarify the definitions and had my basic idea for over a month - it is that I can't seem to put my mind in order. To combine the concepts learned (well discussed) in class with my idea, is what is driving me to overdose on chocolate. We have gone over (I almost said 'learned' again) so many concepts, written so many papers and made so many presentations that the ideas are overlapping and instead of getting clearer are becoming jumbled. I simply can not find the words to make this paper mine. This is a blow to me - I always have words - but to put the literary work of Hemingway within the context of literary discourse and corpus linguistics is driving me MAD!
Where is Rosemary that is my real question? Have you heard from her? I know she is on a roof top in Rio planting flowers but where is she??
Yes, I am on the rooftop planting flowers. However today the winds are so high that that the plants are being beaten to hell. I suspect that all the nice blossoms that have been setting for peppers and tomatoes have blown away to Corcovado.
ReplyDeleteThought life here was suppose to be laid back? Sounds like you are going through finals week.
ReplyDeleteRelax.....in the grand scheme of things this is a bump. Look up to the favela......
It happens here....to every expat sooner or later, at one time or another.
thanks GringoGene for your comments. I appreciate comments - they add to my sence of being heard.
ReplyDeletebut please explane 'It happens here... to every expat sooner or later, at one time or another.' what happens and why??
GingerV
Hi Gingerv,
ReplyDeleteI hear yeah! As Brother Clinton said "I feel your pain".
WHAT HAPPENS?
You say “What in the hell am I doing here?
You are going through what every expat has gone through be it Brazil or whatever country. For the men easier, for the women more difficult. They have a mission. Expat women usually do not.
You don't feel connected to what is happening around you. Your language, DNA, value system, memories, feelings, politics, chit-chat is all different and mostly irrelevant to those around you….you ain’t in Houston.
BTW, got an old Peace Corps buddy from Houston. Lived two years in a small town out on the Paraguayan border in Mato Grosso do Sul from 64-66. She came from an upper-class family in Houston. Poor thing suffered..but gutted out the two years. Kennedy Democrat. Bushies would have done that. Right or Wrong…don’t know..but they sure wouldn’t have sit out in the America…oil the Oilmen’s Club in Texas.
Those Houston photos are of a person who was doing her thing. She would get up in the morning and did what several other million Americans were doing..daily routine.
Now you aren’t there. None of your Houston stuff has any relationship to your Brazilian stuff. It is disorientating, stressful and abnormal. Stuff happens, but here it ain’t your stuff.
Fribrugo is nice, but you appear to be too isolated for someone with your “activitiy level”. Either get involved locally or get into Rio and become the guru or Rio for ladies.
Copa Palace…buy airline ticket ‘home’……Yippee!! You’re looking more North than South. When it comes time to return, and you feel like you are going back to Iraq, well, better buy season ticket for the Astros.
WHY?
It happens because you change environments and all the rules, sounds, taste, noisy, gossip, and other things have changed. You just joined NASA for a trip to Brazil. Except they give your years training….you probably came down for love….NASA training is better.
Not sure on the number, but I think over 40% of Peace Corps Volutneers who made it to Brazil didn’t finish their two year tour. What does that mean? It means young, motivated and trained people had problems adjusting. I know it ain’t easy, but really, you are doing ok so far.
Hang in GingerV…..we all survive…either here …. or …..there.
thanks for the additional info... have been here nearly 5 years, day to day am good. I am taking a class at PUC in linguistics - now will be busy writing the final paper - exervice at a gym - take portugues lessons - am involved in daily life here. We often spend weekends in Rio - lunch and dinner with friends, walk the beach - be warm - but when I haven't seen my family for nearly a year I look forward to going to the USA, shopping for shirts with sleeves long enough to cover my long arms and broad shoulders, going to many movies, taking the grandkids out and about - not always looking North - just from time to time miss it dreadfully. Will always be American.
ReplyDeletegingerv